Funny Dutch language
So I was in my motel room in Amsterdam,
Watching Forest Gump with Dutch subtitles...
....and I swear...
when someone called Forest Gump a "loser," the word that popped up in the subtitle was...........
"shlemiel."
Yes........due to the large Jewish presence here since the 1400s.......Yiddish words are part of Dutch.
Yesterday I saw a restaurant sign saying "restaurant Schimuck."
I saw a boat with a star of David on it and asked the guy if they were Jewish.....
He said no....
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Add to Del.ICIO Read comments (1) or add your own5 weeks in israel........political report from an americanI spent 5 weeks in Israel for my 8th trip there.
My brother has lived there since 1986.
I would like to report that Israelis are understandably in a "siege mentality."
Their farmers' livestock are being stolen by the Arabs and Bedouins, and Israeli law does not allow them to defend themselves against the theft.
Israelis cant wear Jewish symbols or head coverings WITHIN Israel in certain areas without
Harassment or physical attack in their own country, by Arabs.
If Israel atte...
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Add to Del.ICIO Read comments (0) or add your ownArab camel jokeLots of jokes about camels and their arab owners and the camels peckers.
One joke starts like this..........
...........an arab is riding his camel and the camel stops.
The arab says "why won't you walk?"
The camel says........"Not until you give me a blow job.
So the arab blows him and the camel walks.
10 minutes later the camel stops.
The arab asks why he wont walk
The camel demands another blow job.
The arab complies.
Then the listener to the joke says........"s...
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Add to Del.ICIO Read comments (0) or add your ownWhere the hell is Azerbaijan?Now this was hilarious.................I am sitting at an outdoor cafe in Holon/ Avi's place and I meet these old codger dudes from Azerbaijan.....a muslim country.
Where? Try Turkey and go to the south east............
One guy is about 65....has half his teeth. Tanned and hardly speaks Hebrew though he has been in Israel for 5 years.
The other has alcohol tremors and had half his teeth which are dentures.........
The third is about 35 and served in the Israeli army and speaks Hebre...
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Add to Del.ICIO Read comments (0) or add your ownDifficult day in "Holy shit" landToday I ran out of Anti-diarrhoea pills.............now I am up shit's creek without a paddle.
When we were in the desert with Moses for 40 years, diarrhoea was so easy to deal with.....you just squatted and "shitted".
Nobody gave a shit really.
And peaking of shit..........this Israeli dude smoked a bong in the same room with my suitcase..........
..............now I am worried that my suitcase will cause the drug sniffing dogs to go ballistic...........
In Israel.......it may be...
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Add to Del.ICIO Read comments (0) or add your ownFriday morning with Charlie in the old city of JerusalemFriday morning with Charlie in the old city of Jerusalem.
Charlie and I drove from his town, Kfar Adumim, to the old city this morning, Friday.
Walked in the Jaffa gate to the Jewish quarter.
I found the "rivka" jewellery store with the same nice Jewish gentleman with Kipah.
He's several generations in Jerusalem.
Bought things for family and friends.
Walked to the western wall. Went inside where about 200 men were praying.
Photos were allowed although a chassid complained...
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Add to Del.ICIO Read comments (0) or add your ownMy great contribution to the Jewish StateMy great contribution to the Jewish State is............
..........when I pee........I don't flush..........to save water.
Perhaps this will help save Israel..................and will hasten the coming of the Messiah....
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Add to Del.ICIO Read comments (0) or add your ownGhetto fighters and female soldiersWhen I was at the museum of the ghetto fighters, a group of female soldiers took a tour.
Two female sergeants stood apart while the privates sat separately.
Some wore sandals.......others, shoes. Nothing fancy for obvious reasons.
I saw perhaps some irony in being in Israel and seeing sabra female soldiers who had no experience of Diaspora anti-semitism / diaspora mentality/ fears and norms.....trying to understand the ghetto experience and constant fears of the ghetto life.
Perhap...
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Add to Del.ICIO Read comments (0) or add your ownIsrael vs. the USAThere is a more chaotic, take the law into your own hands here in Israel.
I recall getting my camera stolen by the teen next door in an apartment.
I called my Israel friend Avi and told him that i knew the kid in the next apartment had taken it.
He said not to call the police but simply to knock on the door and when they open the door, go inside and look for it.
That would not fly in the US. In the USA your home is your castle. Your property is sacro-sanct.
Anyone who forces entr...
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Add to Del.ICIO Read comments (0) or add your ownMusings from the Holy land...land of milk and honey and chutspaI went to the first museum in the world related to the holocaust....the museum of the ghetto resistance fighters.
Memorable story by a polish Jew.
At age 13 her mother, during German occupation...took her to a polish family and got her work there.
The family asked her to take the cows to pasture but she had no experience with cows and was afraid of them but she managed with the help of a boy in the fields.
She was asked by the family if she was Jewish.
She acted insulted and claim...
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Add to Del.ICIO Read comments (0) or add your ownMusings from the land of milk and honey...and I don't mean HollywoodJoys and sorrows of Israel.
Israel spends about 20% of its GNP on defence.
USA spends about 3 to 5%.
No choice.
At the Canadian-Israeli Sport Center in Metula, north Israel, I went downstairs to the bowling area.
It was a riot to watch these religious Israeli kids, somewith long earlocks...payesses...trying to bowl.
They were totally untaught. Holding the ball wrong....bowling it wrong etc.
Sometimes 3 of them would be at the line goofing off together.
At times, I offered...
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Add to Del.ICIO Read comments (0) or add your ownIsrael - you don't see these thingsevery dayMore things you don't see in the USA that you see in Israel...........
a guy shopping in the supermarket with a pistol in his belt.
guys hitch hiking with machine guns/ M-16s
dogs walking in the city........alone
people yelling at cops and gesturing aggressively
***********************************************************************************
The Land of Milk and Honey.................is giving me gas.
*******************************************************************************...
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Add to Del.ICIO Read comments (0) or add your ownIce hockey in Israel?Ice hockey:
Israeli team with Canadians and Americans and Canadian refs, and a Russian announcer..................now I am really confused.
So I make this beautiful trip from Carmiel in the Nortwest of Israel to Metula, the farthest north place in Israel........
I find this cute bed and breakfast right at the border (I drove along the barbed wire fence).
A guest, American lady who made Aliya with her 11 year old son from Manhattan, tells me that the Jewish World Championship Ice Hockey...
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Add to Del.ICIO Read comments (1) or add your ownBig difference between Israelis and Arabs,muslimsI am writing from Carmiel, a newish town in the mountains 45 minutes east of Haifa.
From my friend's balcony, I see an arab town and can hear the beautiful muslim call to prayer.
If we were in Syria..........they would not allow a jewish call to prayer from loud speakers.
I was reading the instructions for my friends anti-depressant medication.
The instructions are in Hebrew, English and Arabic.
Think about it.................
It is standard for instructions and traffic signs t...
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Add to Del.ICIO Read comments (0) or add your own8 things you see in Israel but not in the USA1) Israeli guy taking a lead on the sidewalk, about 3 feet from the curb. He faces away but pees none the less.
I was driving by with avi driving and I said to the guy who peed....
"Sir, you can't pee like that on the sidewalk in America."
I said it with a smile and he smiled back and kept walking.
Avi laughed.
2) 2 handles/buttons on each toilet. One for pee and a little flush one for poop and a big flush..........only in Israel !
3) Arguing with major use of hands. Talking ...
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Add to Del.ICIO Read comments (0) or add your ownFrom the Land of Milk and Honey........and CleavageFrom the Land of Milk and Honey.......and acid reflux.
So I see this arab guy, about 20, selling kites near my brother's neighbourhood in Kfar Adumim.
I stop and say "Salam Aleikem."
He asks me if I speak Arabic or Hebrew.
I say Hebrew.
I ask him how much the kites are.
He says 80 shekels (20 bucks for the big one and 15 for the little one.
We haggle.
He tries to sell me both for a hundred.
I end up offering $20 American cash for both.
He accepts but wants 5 more sh...
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Add to Del.ICIO Read comments (0) or add your ownMy new status in Israel - Son of a Bitch!I have finally achieved the status of an accepted guy in Israel.
I was called a "son of a bitch" yesterday.
Now I can relax and feel at home here.
I am proud of myself.
I was driving around with my best buddy Avi Babyiof, with his work putting in closets in peoples homes and he delivered some materials to an industrial area.....someone he knew.
These guys are all tough dudes...working class Israelis....macho fearless tough guys.
So Avi got into an argument with the guys over a ...
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Add to Del.ICIO Read comments (1) or add your ownIsrael, what a country!Sitting with a bunch of Israelis, drinking coffee, beer and smoking cigarettes .... never been with so many people who smoke........shmucks.
Just tonight I sat listening to a 90 minute conversation about the price of underwear.
Some guy had some new undies in his car and people at the table were picking out undies and paying the guy 12 shekels (3 bucks) per undie.
Only in Israel could you have a 90 minute discussion of the price of undies.
All with chain smokers.
In the backgrou...
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Add to Del.ICIO Read comments (0) or add your ownWater crisis in IsraelThe water level in Israel is extremely low. Most water comes from the sea of Galilea and it is below the "red line" now.
They drew a new red line below it...which is crazy.
Israelis are allowed to water their plants/outdoor irrigation/hose system 3 times per week from about 2am to 2:30 am.
If the situation gets worse they may have to bring in water in barges from Turkey.
Ironic that a Muslim country would help Israel through such a crisis....
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Add to Del.ICIO Read comments (0) or add your ownArriving in JerusalemI am staying in a beautiful neighbourhood outside Jerusalem in the west bank.
It is on the edge of a canyon like grand canyon, except smaller.
To the north east is Jericho, which I can't go to because with Israeli license plates, I would be dragged out and killed.
The desert air is pleasant. It is very hot during the day and the night breeze is cool.
Stars appear so close that you can touch them....
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